diversity day karaoke

so diversity day at work came and there was karaoke as promised. as soon as they asked for volunteers, the entire room of like 50 co-workers look at me. I walk calmly up on stage and select man and the mirror by michael jackson. i’m dancing around in front of the screen, screaming the lyrics, full stage show.

by the time i’m done everyone is like “wow that was fucked up”. someone else sings a normal song and it’s time for diversity bingo. they had a board with all these things like “blonde hair” and “blue eyes” and we had to…well anyway.

after some really diverse food which included popeyes fried chicken, i grab the mic again. This time i pick I Will Survive. I know this song a little better then any straight man should. I start adlibbing parts with “how could you walk into my cube with that look upon your face”. I start dropping in the boss’s name and all other kind of work phrases. It was great. There were at least half a dozen people holding up cell phones recording it.

After this a good friend at work, 40 something, ex marine, probably 7 feet tall, comes up and i punch in Paradise By The Dashboard light. Now i’ve done some duets in my time but this was great. There are certain lines of that song that even i started cracking up singing into the same mic with a huge bald dude. Things like “And now our bodies are oh so close and tight” and ” And now our bodies are oh so close and tight” are pretty ‘not safe for work’.

By the end of the song we look up and only the HR woman and the dj guy are left. He’s packing up his equipment and she’s putting up the leftover food. We cleared the room.

I finally admit Vincent and me’s little joke about the fake baby pictures. It was just as sweet as i expected.

I’m going to miss corporate America. I can smell the firing with everyday yet my badge still works everytime i wave it in front of the door.

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