Author: Scoutmastertoad

HI, I’M HERE TO FIX YOUR COMPUTERS :)

im gonna take this little moment of peace and calmness to tell you, my faithful viewer(s) about my day…

i rolled out of bed at 9am….not really getting more then 5 hours of sleep and start my day. I’m installing internet kiosks, and a bunch of them. We set them up, i try to go to my dad’s office but no one is there.

at fucking 1 in the afternoon, the door is locked and no one answers the phone. My client is installing a kiosk on the other side of town and he needs the website up very badly. I pull up into the front parking spot, break out the wireless nic and bam, i have internet access. I begin frantically working, eating bites of my salad, trying not to be sick because it’s the first meal of the day.

That morning i had a breakfast of a muscle relaxer, a bottle of V8, a multi vitamin and a red bull. What the fuck is that, seriously. It seems like i tried to cover all the bases but failed with lacking…protein.

Anyway, i end up having to beg one of the offices next to my dad to let me in to pee and they finally show up.

The next stop in today is the dentist. This is where it gets intresting. The girl cleaning my teeth seems a little more friendly then usual. I mean i guess it’s easier for her to work if she keeps me talking. She asks about the piercings, which leads to if i have any tattoos, which leads me to talking about living in california, new orleans, etc. We continue our small talk when she asks “what we do for fun”.

This is where my short comings in social situations really shows.

I say, and i quote, “drink…a lot….in the car, at the office, in bed, in the shower….and have you ever heard of aim?”. I realize what i accidently have done and stop there. I really need to learn how to be shy.

Back to the clients, a sixpack in between and now we’re home…waiting on a phone call to go do more work, then go back to the office, do all the work for tommorow…come home, get drunk, fall asleep, go to meeting, probably eat, then a bunch more work!

ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY
ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY
ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY
ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY
ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY
ALL WORK AND NO BEER MAKES TOAD A DULL BOY

Motavation in a thong.

i told him ian told me to invite him

good thing i didn’t

*looks at empty baggy*

god like….everyone use your imagation for this. Toad dressed in a $20 suit, which i told many people, is the same cost of a bag og schwag. Thus naming it, my schwag suit.

Ken is dresed in, okay let me describe this. This isn’t just funny for me cuz everyone ian or i bring it up we start laughing. We pull up to Ken’s house and he’s standing on the hill of his front yard, in complete darkness, outstretching a arm pointing to his driveway. I’ve tried in several sentences, then deleting, what Ken looked like at this moment. Now Ken is about 6’7″, with a goatee of 3 prongs. Dressed in all black, weird little black top hat. Looks like Kid Rock but really pissed off. My untrained mind is not enough to describe Ken.

Anyway…..we go to the strip club, nothing really happens, the end? Haklsdfhalkhalkhalskhahalksdjflasj haha. Poor brandon sits alone for 10 minutes until he sees us..he said he really felt dirty sitting alone in platinum…i agreed and offered him any of 3 different bottles…

I almost need another website to talk about Platinum Plus experiences that i’ve had. I’ve learned from Platinum that i am a white heterosexual male and that i need to get a job that pays a lot. I can’t describe what a refreshing feeling platinum is.

Motavation in a thong.

A lot of people will tell you that strippers are ugly. I’m here to tell you a lot of them are. The whole “problem” with strip clubs is the alcohol. If you couldn’t drink there, then we wouldn’t be the ONLY people in the entire club with 3 bottles of alcohol we BROUGHT in. Last night was a Monday too. People made eye contact with us and just knew we weren’t fucking around.

I really need to get a picture of Ken for this.

This morning started really pretty bad. It’s not a good morning when you wake up and you have 13 new voicemails. In fact, when it’s 2pm, it’s not morning anymore.

You were asleep during morning toad.

I stumble to the shower making apoligies, that i’ll be there in a minute. I suddenly remember last night in one big second and Ian told me i was singing Ludacris – Get Out The Way while i was taking a shower.

After a muscle relaxer, a beer that i stole from a client’s fridge, and several hours of troubleshooting, i am going to bed.

another blurry weekend

hmmm gawd, not going to even go into this whole scary weekend. A billion things happened worth posting on this site but i can only remember a few. Thanks whiskey…

Around 2am at Club Atlas, toad and swede walk back in to get his records. Swede had spun several hours earlier and we went to go have a few drinks on Beale when we decided it was time to go back. Swede is…well don’t remember how he was dressed, but i was clad in a $20 Salvation Army suit, complete with Gucci sunglasses.

I need more suits.

Anyway, we go up to the stage, i grab his record case for him and as we were walking into the crowd, i slap the sunglasses on, put my hand up to my ear and begin to shove everyone out of our way, sternly saying “excuse me, excuse me, excuse me” as i pushed girls in teddy bear backpacks out of the way.

We get outside and then begins a kind of hide and go seek with the police, swede and myself. There is no way to describe the kind of paranoia that was eminating from them just about everything that night.

Not going to go into the rest of my weekend. I’ve posted several drunk rants about self censorship but i just don’t think i really want anyone to know the level it kinda got to. Completely not on purpose either.

Leaving it at that
I

caSINo

about to leave for casino…i’m dressed like…the pics will just explain that…someone else is driving…i’m already drinking…..wes is en route….i can only see out of one eye….time to get that change bucket and hit the fuckin slots.

i hope tonight is the night where i win a bunch of money. Like everyone has 1-2…i have…like tonight, tonight could really use it…

today was at the exxon buying more beer and the black woman, with what i think is her name, etched in her “grill”, or the white person equlivant, front teeth. I laugh and say i dyed it last friday after buying this exact amount of beer. The other large black woman at the counter responded that she dyed hers while sober. I asked where her sense of adventure was and collected my change….

ugh

nothing like having your power go out during a game of warcraft….

i paced around the apartment for about 20 minutes, left, picked up food and beer and came back and started up the laptop. When i was at the gas station buying beer, i tried to score some free cigerettes from the marlboro guy there. Only thing is he wants me to buy a pack and he’ll give me 4 packs after. I say “no dice, just gonna stick to my beer” and the cop turns his head up and stares.

I got in the car and started laughing and wish i had said “just stick to the pot” instead..

Weird thing was when i got back, i called this phone # on the back of my fucking $137 utility bill for “outages” and put in my phone number when it asks me my location. About a 10th of a second after i hang up the phone the power comes back on. Did i just reboot something with my phone #? Anyone work for mlgw?

galsdjf

gawd…waking up later and later everyday…..want to start drinking again but i know i need to eat at least once before i can even consider alcohol again….

last night was a drunken blur of bars and merryness. I woke u this morning, saw the 3 missed phone calls, saw they were all 3 from the same client.

I call him back and he laughs and says about time i answered my phone. I explain to him last night was a long night and he just laughs at me. I tell him i got the email, i fix what needed to be fixed and i start drinking my first glass of water.