Two shootings reported in an hour span in the Lower Garden District

okay first read this article

now here’s my side of it.

i woke up at my girlfriend’s house which happens quite a bit. we lay in bed together, she’s already super late for work but we’re just laying there enjoying the last of wonderful bliss of sleep.

we hear the unmistakable sound of gunfire which is a pretty normal thing in pretty much every city and apartment i’ve ever lived in.  paying it no mind, we decide to make her a little for work, which doesn’t take me long but she was a good 5 minutes later 😀

anyway, i put on the camo, boots, black shirt, messenger bag, out the door to catch the magazine bus. now it’s not every morning i start drinking before 9am but i was thirsty. Dats grocery store(yeah it says Dat’s on the sign) has these $1 16 oz cans of Mickeys which are a great post sex breakfast to drink on while i wait for the bus.  I remember thinking i shouldn’t be drinking in the mornings but “this one beer won’t kill me”. There is a guy in a FBI jacket talking to the woman owner of the establishment talking about what she heard.

i go in, grab the beer, pay my $1.00 bill for my $1.00 beer, get a brown bag and walk out. There’s a old dude wheeling in some beer off a coors truck. I nod to him and he says “how you doing”. I reply i was doing well.

I get probably 40-50 yards away when i hear gun fire. Not distant like it was in the nice safe house earlier. I take off running up magazine, beer in hand. i turn to see what is potentially something awful for my existance, any cars speeding at me or anyone pointing anything. i’m suddenly a little glad im wearing camo. The guy in the FBI jacket has pulled his gun and is firing, the coors truck dude is flat on the ground. i’m too far away to see the look on his face but i’m sure it was “i cant wait to write about this on my site” type grin.

i walk up and immediately open my beer and begin walking up magazine watching several squad cars tear ass around the block and more yellow tape going up. i end up walking home since the bus was obviously not running down magazine at a regular pace. got home, took off the camo, put on a fresh pair, put the phone headset on and got back to work.

i thought about all day long how bad ass it would have been to get hit by stray fire and that just be it. walking home from his chick, shot down on the streets.  can take a boy out of the ghetto but can’t get the ghetto out of the boy. i would hope the media would spin it as me being some how directly involved. people in memphis would sending out their bulletins saying “omg”

really makes you appreciate morning sex before going out into the mean streets.

shed blues

so the shed behind my apartment is being torn down by some guys my landlord hired. the shed was in really bad shape, roof collapsing on itself and was just plain dangerous. it is a marvelous and magical act of nature that has woken me up really early this weekend. the thoughts i have of murder while laying in bed hearing them hammer and keep me away from the precious sleep i need for the next long work week…everyone is nice until they are kept awake. then even your sweet mother is a fucking axe murderer….

i haven’t seen lizzy lately and i think she was wise and fled the building before they tore it down. i saw our other neighbor earlier, wonder if he is as tired as i am…

coffee and pink floyd

if you should go browsing, on the thin ice of my sites, dragging you behind, the crappy code, of a million beer stained sites…don’t be surprised when a bug in wordpress appears under your design…you slip out of your hawaiian and out of your camo, with your code flowing out behind you as you fall through the ice!!$@#@#$%@#$!#$!@

mary is wonderful

mary saw my post a few months ago seeking camo pants and gave me like a dozen pairs. her brother was in the marines so a lot of them are still startchy, which is really weird.

i feel this weird sense of calm knowing that i don’t have to do laundry until the maids come back next week. fresh camo for every day is a great feeling…

it’s gotten really bad over the last few months, how the hawaiian shirt and camo pants are just fucking required now…not a “oh i work better like this”, it’s “i can’t work at all without it”

a few pairs are going to be turned into shorts because it’s already stupid hot down here…. just a sign of what’s coming….

hmmm

so this was one of those days.

i started drinking a little earlier then usual for a few reasons im not going to go into. i manage through the first meeting with lots and lots of coffee, then start mixing stuff into the coffee….i come home, freak out for a while….i get little or a whole bunch done work wise…kelly drops my twisted self off at my next meeting….i manage through this one, suddenly feeling a lot better about everything when he tells me how much he loves the logo and the design i’ve made for him. it feels good to do good work. when you’re this over the line you start to wonder about your quality, is it getting better or worse…

anyway.

im going to get about 4 hours of sleep tonight. exhaustion is wearing deep on me and i seem to be on autopilot 90% of the time i’m awake…just pretending to be alive…

stand up next to a web site

chop it down with the side of my hand…

i never knew how great it would be to have a digital video camera…it’s so versatile in my life…i can use it to create videos for clients and post them on their web site and you tube and then later that night i can use it to record my own porn.

i’m going to be the jerry for canon cameras. or the stoned apple girl.

in bad news my stupid keg is empty…again….im going to wait a few days before i get it filled…make me appreciate it more…it’s weird how you get used to the fact that there is always beer here…was getting out of the shower, just had a nice long run, was thinking “mmm damn that first beer is gonna taste good….oh yeah :(“

when i die

i think about it a lot…after the funeral…everyone just kinda hanging, having a drink or two, cuz that’s what toad would want…

then i start to think about what everyone is going to be saying.

thats the part i’m not sure if i like…it’s hard to not speak ill of the dead, almost seems natural….he drove too recklessly, he drank too much, cutting yourself will only lead to that, or “he died while masturbating and choking himself”

that’s gonna be a leet funeral.  all my friends, colleagues and family, all really sad about poor michael who died of “natural causes” in his apartment in new orleans. then the black veil is lifted and it’s my vizio tv playing the video of me choking myself while masturbating.

i’m not sure who im going to get to do the editing for this.

that was the point of this update.