Category: TOAD NEWS FEED

No matter how formidable people may be in real life, the moment they try to mess with ScoutMasterToad, they are sure to get the horns.

Almost got in a car wreck on the way home today cuz i was busying staring at a girl in a honda with a Nirvana and Pink Floyd sticker on her bumper. Any girl that’s into that has to be cool right?

I memorized her face so next time i see her i’ll be able to have a really errie pick up line to use on her.

A little part of my day is always occupied with some sublime directory with the latest in amaetur, good ole fashioned internet pr0n. It's great, no matter how my day has been, i can always look forward to seeing some new naked girls.

Since this is something i don't really need to do everyday, i then start to think of it as a addiction.

Toad knows addiction.

I think I attribute most of my porn addiction to my all male high school days. Going weeks without seeing a member of the opposite sex, except at gas stations and stop lights. So i had a steady diet of porn at a impressionable age.

Losing my virginity probably didn't help the whole situation. Now that i knew what they felt like it, porn seemed even greater. I've also noticed that my porn intake doubles in the winter. I dunno if it's seasonal depression or what but it starts to get kinda weird.

Oh well, until i wake up one morning with guys in ski masks and US flags on their bullet proof vests, i'm definetely sure porn is my favorite addiction.

i can’t stand that ozzy is doing fucking pepsi commercials…it’s not like you weren’t already filthy fucking rich from your music and then you get this MTV thing but now you’re sucking on the same dick that brittany had just wrapped her little lips around.

and don’t get me started about your ugly ass no talented daughter and your fat son who’s never worked a day in his fucking life. Yeah im talking to you fucker, you with the pepsi lemon in your mouth.

those words echoed through my poor hungover body at 12:30 this morning……fucking ian, this is all his fault…..after watching a especially bloody episode of Oz and 3 glasses of wine later, im at Old School Sunday, the only white person there who isn’t working there…..

i remember at one point Andy the bartender looked me square in the eyes after he poured me my next gin and tonic and said “i’m gonna get you sick tonight”.

thats not something you want your bartender to tell you..

after several more bars and several more drinks, toad cuts himself off. Now it’s fucking 1pm, i’m still kinda drunk, going to the office wearing the same clothes i wore last night…and slept in come to think of it..

just another sunday in the wall

WELL SHE MAY NOT LOOK LIKE OTHER GIRLS!@$#@!#$@#$@

seeeeeeether@#$@#$@# hhahaa

gawd this is when music ruled…..veruca salt in bud light commercials….fucking ruled…i tried to keep her on a short lease, i tried to calm her down, i tried to ram her into the……….ground@#$@#$

i think the worst part about tonight was coming home from my parent’s house all drunk then having my really good friend saying “hey you’re gonna wake up hungover tommorow”. It was a terrible feeling, thinking “yup, going to wake up feeling shitty and fucked up”

blah

SCOUTmasterTOAD: too much alcohol consumed tonight 🙁
SCOUTmasterTOAD: monday = hungover

Annie was making fun of me cuz i don’t update as much as i used. I mean i could update this site with my daily crap but it’d get more negative opinions then positive since most of it boring to anyone but me.

fuck um

gonna smoke a joint and throw the frisbee in the backyard with the dog. If this isn’t worth updating about then come over here, bring alcohol/sex/drugs/women or anything else im slightly intrested in and maybe we can make a update.

ugh so brandon and i get in the car last night and he grabs a spindal of cds and starts going through them. He picks one out, slides it in and puts the car into reverse.

then that familar sound….bum, bum, bum, bum….the beginning of the wall…..i had already listened to that cd twice that day, also even broke out the dark side right before i left work…as you can see in my previous post….

after much drinking and talking about how if you’re gonna fuck a girl that your friend had dated, you gotta get a spoon or a spatula and scoop out all of your friend that’s left up inside of her. I started making a scooping motion, demonstrating how you really gotta get way up in there to get it all out.

ugh meeting time…time to finish my huge bottle of evian and go

well…it’s 5:40 now….almost time to leave the office, yay

40 time!

As ive mentioned previously, the phone rarely rings for toad. I still answer when i’m not playing warcraft and i take messages and usually tell ian. Usually.

Lately since so many people ask “ian?” when i answer the phone, i’ve just been like “*cough* yeah this is ian?” Most people, like his mom, see through it, but it’s great when it’s one of those gray area friends. I can usually ask them 2-3 quetions before their like “hey wait you’re not ian, who is this”. Thats when you have to hang up.