Category: TOAD NEWS FEED

Meathead is this huge speciman of a black man that works security at Hardrock on old school sundays. About a year ago, i was all drunk and tackled Meathead when Ian and the rest of the Hardrock crew convinced it would be funny. I tackle the wrong guy, they were telling me to tackle the small guy next to him who had more of a sense of humor then meathead.

Anyway, long story short, next time i see him i give him a shirt, which he immediately puts on and is later seen dancing with a drink in each hand. I take several pics, none of which are on disk in the morning.

Sigh

hehe i love explaining my failures at flirting on my site. I guess since im young i still can have a sense of humor about failed attemps at getting numbers at bars.

Wait till i get older.

Anyway, i walk up to the bar to get a drink and random girl of decent beauty starts talking to me. I sit down, can’t remember for the life of me what we talked about, who knows.

As we’re about to leave, i turn to ask her for phone number, spilling my precious beer on my chair and me.

Instantly any chance of me leaving with her number disappears into beer soaked napkins and me laughing since I now know the antelope has escaped and i need to just go back and lay in the grass in wait.

i’ve been spending a lot of time setting up this thing im doing now and i havn’t spent time wiht my favorite litlte project

crackrhore.com

recetnly crackhore has begun a gurrila warfare tattic of selling/giving away as many shirts and sticikers as possibls.they are showing up at bars that you go to now as i type this.

nothing can stop us.

! I AM THE LIZARD KING, AND I CAN DO ANYTHING ! MUHAAHAHA EVERYONE BUY A SHIRT

scoutMASTERtoad: ugh why isn't sek ever online anymore
MahBizNizzle: dunno
MahBizNizzle: been sick the past few days
scoutMASTERtoad: really bothers me when people arn't online
MahBizNizzle: he'll be on later
scoutMASTERtoad: yeah but he's not on now
scoutMASTERtoad: like he usually used to be
MahBizNizzle: He probably hates you
MahBizNizzle: and me too
MahBizNizzle: 😉
scoutMASTERtoad: 🙁
scoutMASTERtoad: haha
scoutMASTERtoad: daily darkness from wes

Everywhere on the interstate, there are drunk and high drivers trying to kill your family members.

And their winning.

Or at least we're trying.

As much as i love pot, i definetely need to refrain from getting high before social events.

Last night a huge group of us went downtown for drinks. I was standing at the first club, beer in hand, next to the dance floor watching the beauty which god has created.

There were these 2 really really hot girls, taller then all the others, dancing against each other. These girls were so good looking and tall that 2 other members of my group commented on them, i agreeing with them every time.

I have a really bad habit of staring. Staring may not be the correct word. Lusting, yeah, lusting is a lot better. Anyway, i had been “staring” at the one tall girl with short brown hair with red stripes for about 20 minutes when i lose sight of her.

About 10 minutes later i feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around expecting Wes or Sek or anyone except the the tall cute girl. She asks the one question which always strikes fear in my heart, “hey do you remember me?!” My brain, paralyzed in confusion, returns a “ummm” and she starts to laugh. I laugh nervously, trying desperately to remember any girl that looked anything like her.

She tells me her name and that she’s wearing a whig. It all makes sense, sorta. I don’t even ask about the whig, tell her I totally didn’t recognize her at all, and nervously try to keep a tiny bit of small talk. She walks off, everyone in the group gives me a “Why was the really hot girl we were all talking about just talking to you?”

Another moment of last night which is worthy of documenting, based on it’s lolness. We’re stumbling back to the car from the last bar to the parking garage. We get to our floor, stumbling up the steps with a bunch of stumbling black women who are laughing almost as loud as me.

The best way to describe it is like walking into a rap video shoot. Theres a huge stream of cars throughout the parking garage, representing almost every stereotype of memphis you can thnk of. I start laughing when I smell all the pot in the air, combined with the bass from everyone’s speakers.

I scramble for my NWA cd, it takes god knows how long to get out of the parking lot and i honestly don’t remember the drive so i can’t really comment on it.

FYI, crackhore sticker placed at 152 and Hardrock. Operation Saturation underway.

Had to jump several fences, climb under a few but we made it. Sitting on the 50 yard line of probably one of the most famous stadiums in the South. Andy George, my partner in crime both cracked a beer in the center of the field on the 50 yard line and started calling people on our respective cell phones, asking if they could guess where we were. Most responded with “i'll see you when i get out of jail”.

Anyway, we stumble around the locker rooms, take a few more pics and jump the several fences to get back out. We had a narrow escape when a police car shown a light at us but all and all it was a jail free night.

We went back to the Glass Onion to find Sly, the bartender that said there was no way we were going to find it. I show him a handfull of grass that i put in my pocket as proof and ordered my drink.

Just think, everything you've ate today has probably been bad for you. If you ate fast food, you're killing yourself. If you made something that you heated up in a microwave, you're killing yourself.

Why can we put a man on the moon, or at least fake it really well, yet we still can't make healthy food that tastes good.

i don’t post a lot of eternal links on crackhore anymore but this is definetely notable.

http://www.people.fas.harvard.edu/~pyang/flash/miniputt.swf

Last night, Alex and Wes were both sitting in my living room, both on their respective laptops, both playing Mini Putt. I had 4 aim windows up on my other monitor, all 4 aim windows were playing Mini Putt. Im not going to even go into how weird it is that almost all of us were fucked up too.

Anyway, as many things go, it gets competetive and people start taking screenshots of their final scores, talking shit, etc.

my 40 is the lowest score i’ve seen.

cracktoad@crackhore.com mail me if u can get anything lower.

loser.

A lot of people slowly remember things the next morning as they tell someone “what they did last night”. That just happened and i thought i better put it down in the site while im thinking about it. Andy, Alex, Wes and I just chilled around the apartment drinking when Andy decided he had to go out for just a little bit. Andy and I, both wearing the latest in crackhore.com fashion,

If you were at the Glass Onion last night, you saw the loud table in the corner. We drank, drank and drank and on the way out of the bar i decided i have to visit the lil toad’s room. Now the Glass Onion has a really intresting men’s room. Instead of having stalls like normal bathrooms, they just have a normal toilet about a foot from a normal urinal and a mirror. I walk in and some guy on a cell phone follows me, walks in and stands right next to the toilet. Theres already 1 guy peeing in the urninal, leaving me the normal toilet with some dude on a cellphone standing maybe a foot away.

This bothers me.

I put one foot on the rim of the bowl, other foot on top of toilet, one hand goes into back pocket to pull out a crackhore.com sticker, other against the wall to brace myself as i climb up on top of the rail. The sticker goes on smoothly, i jump down and land ala Matrix 2 style, and walk out.

We drop Andy off, after he buys more beer, since all the bourbon and beer we drank earlier wasn’t enough, haha. It gets fuzzy after that, i think i came home and went to sleep….