I sit calmly in silence, only the sound of the keyboard clicking away my sober emotions as i wait. Waiting with cat like alertness for the first opportunity to start the ball rolling down that great big hill of drunkeness.
Hi, my name is toad, and i’m a alcoholic.
I really like pot a lot too.
I got my AA speech all planned out. Just waiting to hit rock bottom before i give myself up to Jesus Christ to be saved…or something….
Anyway, enough that. Last night in a drunken stupor, laying on the couch with the laptop, having yet another drunken conversation about my trip to Amsterdam which is approaching very soon. As soon as the lease is signed and the stuff is moved in, the ticket will be purchased a month in advance. I’m going to give myself enough money to live like a god for a week.
Only problem is going to Amsterdam for a week by yourself could be pretty dangerous. Especially when your planning on stumbling around in a drug induced rage for almost a week. I’m going to get lonely.
Luckily, Amsterdam has plenty of rosey cheeked women that i can purchase for company. From what i’ve read, women can be bought for $20-$30 american dollars. But with haircuts, apartments and prostitutes, you get what you pay for.
So my plan is to save up a decent amount of money and actually get a real escort for 3-4 days. She can show me around, showing me the sights of Amsterdam and also provide entertainment in other…activities…..
The pictures will be the best part tho. I’ll get off the plane, ride home, upload the 2 disks of pics to crackhore and watch the games begin.
“Here is me and Natasha at the art muesuem, look how dilated my pupils look!”
“Here is me and Natasha having coffee at this shop near my hotel. Yeah! Look at the size of that joint!”
Then when I leave she’ll ride with me to the airport, we’ll hug, exchange email addresses and aim names say our bitter goodbyes….