no, i didn’t sleep with anyone!

i’m in line this morning at petco, hair all messed up in the back since i just woke up in a strange bed, and on the way home i remembered i needed marla food.

i grab a huge bag of food, shove a dog toy in my pocket and stand in line. While im checking out, my phone rings. Oh hey shane, whats up, oh im just buying dog food….baseball game? Naw, i just woke up, still really hungover, not ready to do anything yet.

Shane asks what i did last night, i told him it was helen’s birthday party and i slept over there cuz i was too drunk. He then asks “what, you slept with helen?” and i exclaim “no! i didnt sleep with anyone”.

At this point the entire line is staring at me. I grab my huge bag of dog food and stumble out.

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