Month: January 2004

can’t stop the updates

i don’t care anymore, it’s all going on the site. tonight my friend, we’ll call him kenneth, was telling me about how cops pull pranks on each other. he dosed the seats of some fellow officers with water. imagine some pissed off memphis cops pulling you over, pulling their wet boxer shorts out of their ass, while writing you a ticket.

kenneth is more hardcore then anyone.

on my way home, im taking backstreets, avoiding going to jail. i get out of my car on my new street and see a police car. i’ve been drinking around cops all night, so now all cops are my friend. wearing the hacker hat, laptop bag slung over shoulder, i scream “HEY AHSLDKFHALKHDFLKAHDF”.

blue lights come on. they ask me “if they can help me”. I tell them i had them mixed up with some cops that usually patrol my streets and that im sorry. the blue lights go off, they drive off, i update my site.

everyone wins.

except you.

don’t tell my dad about this

i met with my stock broker today. i wore a pair of brown pants, a faded Hardrock San Diego shirt, a white collared shirt unbuttoned, my cheesey metal spiked bracelet and my Hacker hat. My stock broker is a personal friend of my dad so this is really funny to me.

we go over my stocks, showing me which ones are making money, how much i’ll be worth if i live to 45 years of age(which i laughed and asked how much i’d hae if i died at 25).

he asks me what ive been working on lately. i tell him ive been spending a lot of time on a personal project. he asks what it is. i tell him i better not tell him. then finally i just said screw it, grabbed the keyboard and brought up my familar green and orange happiness.

i explain to him the site, what it’s about, how he should never go back to it after this one time im showing him, etc and we continue to talk about the stock market.

after that i went to Lowes hardware store for a light switch nob. this turns into “imma buy some pvc pipe to make curtains” for this weekend’s home improvement project. I find one of the dudes who works there, i comment on how the lady that he was helping before wouldn’t shutup. He says that’s not the half of it but that it’s okay cuz everyday the beer goes in the truck and the truck and then the beer goes in him.

i dunno what it is about these people i randomly keep meeting in hardware stores…..at least he didn’t tell me about jesus….

must rid myself of this

my sleep schedule is now completely and totally trainwrecked. it’s 7am…im “done” with a lot of work, gotta wake up and do more “work”, show that “work” and also cover all the “worK” i did a few days ago. this sucks.

bruce “carlos” showed me like 30 things wrong with my site tonight, which i fixed.

i really wish i could tell you how my day went but it would be used against me in court someday if i did. everything went well tho. the line between michael and toad has faded even more, the future is uncertain and the end is always near.

all sorts of premeditated

so i moved into a new apartment. i’mma give myself the rest of this beer to tell you about the whole move. i hate moving. alot. this is probably my 8th move under my belt and it’s not something you get better at.

now i used to just live with ian, now i live with ian and puddin. now there are people in this world who work with computers, sleep next to one, etc. then there are people who don’t. puddin, like about 60% works at fedex. he also works at a meat market. neither jobs let you sign on on aim.

my upstairs neighbers, one of which i had several classes at cbhs, who is now a total stoner, lives with a bunch of bartenders(like me). the ping pong table was definetely a bad sign. oh well, going to go try to go to bed now.

i told u it was insulated

So last night i decide that i need to fix this light switch in the apartment that's upside down. This really really bothers me, having to flick it up instead of down, and vice versa. I take the panel off, take the screws out and try to move the switch.

110 volts run thru my arms and i laugh and pull back. “oh yah, forgot about that”. I go consult my good from Meph on aim on the finer points of not dying when dealing with electricity. He explains how conductivity works and says he's kinda afraid his advice may get me killed.

I tell him this is going to be the new internet rumor, the household ripper.

He says to go try and turn the breakers off first. Ian is now really really worried, exclaiming this is how i'm going to burn down the new place the first week we move in. The fuse box is labeled with our address number, so i open up the box and start flicking switches, trying to find the right one.

Then from the hallway i can hear the static on my neighber's tv. Suddenly I realize that i might have found the wrong fuse box. I quickly go back inside like nothing happens. Meph says to take a picture of the screwdriver i'm using to make sure it's insulated and won't equal anymore pain. I end up wrapping a pair of needle nose plyers with electrical tape and somehow manage to get the screws back in, fixing the switch.

Now i can look at that socket and know that i was almost hardcore.

into the new year

okay, i’d like to explain first off why the site is so fucked up. I decided to redesign my site, move apartments and do all my holiday shopping bullshit at the same time.

I’ve started almost ever day with a beer. But now i’m in my new place, a 3 bedroom with 2 other roommates, hardwood floors, etc. I went to school with one of my upstairs neighbers who my only complaint is them playing their hippy drums at 2pm when im just waking up. This is easily covered up by mp3s.

Things worth mentioning…..while at the thrift store, valerie and i were examining 2 rugs, neither had price tags. I ask this big black dude who is unloading a truck how much they cost. He replies “i’ll give ya both for twenty, where’s ya car parked?” I smile, hand him a $20, he puts it in his pocket and he slides the rugs into my car.

Cheating vets, what crackhore is all about. Hope he spent that $20 on drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, we go to the next thrift store…while walking thru the electronics section I notice something that probably shouldn’t be in a thrift store. One of those shiney new gameboy advance. I pick it up, notice it doesn’t have a price tag on it. I quickly remedy with this taking the tag off a $2.99 bookshelf that I was standing next to.

We get to the car after we go thru the checkout and we stop and Walgreens for batteries. The thing actually works. Only weird thing is everything in the game is in German. All the writings on the game and the gameboy are american but the game is locked in German.

Mad eBay action.