fucking priceless

8pm: eat 2 sleeping pills, drink 2 jack and cokes at blue monkey, discuss politics with bartender, ian and ian’s friend.

9:20pm: go home, call client, say im ready for website. he says call him back in a few

9:45pm: drank 2 natural lights, on phone with client….website is fixed, client is happy, toad is face down on floor.

a website designed by a alcoholic: priceless

i am a shitty friend

i got a voicemail from brad today saying andy is getting out of jail and having a party for him.

Febuary 17th is his release date.

Im going to use his journal right now to apoligize for being such a shitty friend. Andy asked me to send him some cash to buy some cigerettes cuz apparently their really expensive. Now i've had the money but not the time and everyone's busy.

But crackhore.com is my chance to make it up. Now i know i have a lot of REALLY hot chicks read my site and now i must call upon them to help me.

Poor Andy has been around guys for a pretty long stint. So all you ladies out there, hit me up on aim or cracktoad@crackhore.com and tell me what nasty shit you wanna do to my boy Andy once he gets out of lockdown.

hmm

i hate when i forgot what i was going to update about from the walk to the computers. something must have happened today that was important enough to say…

okay yeah i got it now.

im finally taking medication for my cough/flu/ebola thing that has been going on the pass 2 weeks. The doctor also gave me something called Verum for my cough. It says “may cause dizziness” on the side of it. My mom picked up the prescription for me and i ate them immediately and drove home.

She asks me today if the pills are making me “dizzy”. That’s kind of a tough question to answer. I told her i hadn’t drank since i started the ZPack, the other super drug that always seems to cure my colds, so i was already feeling kinda weird and dizzy from that so i wasn’t sure.

This leads into the typical “i need to stop drinking so much” with my mom and tonight she actually says ” you need to just stick to herbal things”.

I wish i could save real life text in log files.

Going to invent that.

Anyway.

hi i make your website

okay a long time ago i made a website for my dad’s cycling group. you can all probably guess the name of that group since i accidently left it as a title in a update but i degress.

About a year ago the group kinda disbanded, their site expired.

One of the members bought the domain, contacted me, offering me money, to get the site up and running.

I copy, paste, upload, paste, paste, paste, upload. I find out when the club meets, and explain it to them.

the original place they were going to meet was garibaldis, the pizza place in germantown. Im like “cool, i can get free pitchers of beer since i hooked them up on their site”.

they tell me the next day that the meeting has been moved to a bike store(one of the teams sponsors). I show up, with my tablet and my tallboy of Icehouse and walk in.

Theres about 30 of them, all in their mid 40s, gray hair, all really lean. The guy that originally paid for the site introduces me, i open my beer and say hi and they talk about bikes for a while.

i then realize that my tablet’s wireless connection is working so i sit in the back, online, sipping my beer, waiting for my turn to talk about their site.

Finally i get the floor and they all turn to me. I walk them how to login the forum, etc, give them my email address if they have any questions. They all nod and deicde that it’s time to go eat.

We get to memphis pizza cafe and i order another beer, after depositing my empty tall boy outside. we drink lots of beer, i embarass myself and drove home. wish all my web meetings were like that……i guess they probably all will at some point……

fucking is not happy

one of my clients called today, i told him we could work on his site, it was a sunday, big deal……he called from his home phoneat 11am and i woke up at 6:45pm…..i call him, get the answering machine, explain why i slept all day, but instead of saying “i’ve been sick” i say “yeah this fucking cold has me sleeping weird hours”.

i just pictured my poor client, my raspy voice talking about all kinds of random shit and his family all staring at horror, like “why is this man calling us?”

im going to start calling random #’s and getting voicemails and answering machines and just screaming FUCK

hate kill stab kill

fucking car won’t start. not enough gas. take brooks escalade to exxon, buy something to put gas in, buy gas, pump gas next 2 black dudes with cellphones bumping triple 6 and fueling their explorer.

vapors didn’t ignite.

fill honda back up via my new gas container. pick up marla,drop valerie off.

get home and brooks says “i took one of your sleeping pills but now i dont want to go to sleep”. she watches me eat handfulls of them, drink and sit at my computer. i tell her the computer is the key.

she packs her bag and her and reese leave.

my phone will ring at exactly 7:45am tommorow morning. we will attempt to discuss changes on his website.

the 2 forties ive drank should be sufficent to put me down for a few hours away from my precious insanity which is fueled by the internet.

i wish the rest of america would catch up on the over the counter sleeping pill addiction. the rest of you already like cigerettes and beer, just as me, why havn’t sleeping pills become “socially acceptable”.

okay, this update is over.