Month: August 2004

uh oh

Brad, who usually doens’t read much of my website(until now) was scrolling through my site, looking at the older latest pics and found a comment by sek about black people. sek referred to how much he loves brad by saying how he wishes he could own “4 or 5 black people”.

Brad is not not amused.

brad = not happy.

he tells me to write down that he needs to cut Sek next time he sees him. asks me to put it on the to do list.

about 4 hours later, we hear a knock on the door.

it’s sek!

sek has no idea that brad knows about his comment since he made it a few months ago and he was probably pilled out of his mind when he made it, so he has no idea what he’s walking into.

oh well, im sure this will work out lol

the lighter rack

my roommate brad was at the mapco out at brooks road. 979 brooks road to be exact.

a homeless dude comes up and asks him for a light. brad, being, well, smart, keeps the lighter in his head and lights the guy’s cigerette. the guy then asks brad if they have security at the mapco. he says, “yeah usually”. he then asks if the guy is uniformed, he says “yeah usually”.

this dude lights his cigerette off of brad’s lighter, he sets it down on the windowsile and runs inside. Dude busts out of mapco with a entire rack of Bic lighters before the cigerette has even burned halfway down.

As he ran out, he gave Brad a smile, like “hey look lol” kind of smile, and kept going. The mapco people don’t even chase him.

happy birthday wes

Wes turned 23 yesterday.

happy birthday, wes. even thoyou are still passed out on our couch, you can read this later. if you wake up.

we all met up at Neils for Wes’s free bartab that he gets on his birthday. It was wednesday tho. This meant karoake. We sat up front for a while, i eyed the karoake stage, shook my head and said i wasn’t feeling it today.

I sang Love Me Two Times by The Doors. When i get to hell Jim Morrison is going to kick my ass. This was quite possibly the worst redendition of this song or any Doors, ever. It involved growling into the microphone and rolling on the floor at the end. I put on a good stage show but the vocals lack what’s really needed to compete in the karoake circuit.

Dreams are meant to only be dreams.

afterwards when i returned to my pitcher of beer and friends, i had 4 complete strangers come up and give me props on my beautiful singing.

i have a meeting in 4 hours. i have a glass of water and the last beer in the entire house. this day is going to suck ass.

TICKET DISMISSED, BITCHES!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD

after standing in line for division 3 for my ticket i received after my last incident, the ticket is dismissed, court costs are even waived.

i walked out of the court room, arms above my head, yelling how i “own”. in all my years of speeding tickets, failure to maintain proper control and all the other things i have been charged with, i have NEVER had a ticket totally dismissed.

kristen was nice enough to wake up at the crack of dawn to come take me down to be judged. she had never been to 201 poplar. now she knows it inside and out. she even knows about the secret entrance now to avoid the long metal detector lines.

i was in line next to a young black girl, who was on her first speeding ticket. i told her the reason i was there and i immediately gained the respect a criminal like me deserves.

the 2 black dudes in front of me asked me if i was a waiter(because i was wearing a black shirt). he says him and his friend work at O’Charleys. I go “oh yeah the one in cordova?” and he responds sharply “shouthhaven”. Dude probably didn’t even know what Cordova is.

god i am still numb from the shock when he said “okay, i’ll dismiss it, no court costs”. I couldn’t believe it, i almost started crying.

anyway, just in case you forgot.

aint nuthin to fuck with.

Bastards Brawl = Success

welp, the party went over successful.

now im ripping the video of the fights.

i have a 10 gig .mov file.

i still have to do a lot of editing, stay tuned.

by the way, every link on this website is probably broken, just like poor matt’s leg. Matt broke his leg at the fights. He was wearing a Got Hore? crackhore.com shirt. I almost pissed myself with laughter when i saw him in the ring refeering. Everyone staring like “what is crackhore.com?”

Anyway, Matt went to the emergency room at 10pm, the Methodist hospital on Union. Still blazing the crackhore shirt.

He said every nurse running the graveyard shift was like “oh my god, where did you get there that shirt?”.

crackhore.com wants to give a shout out to all the nurses at Methodist Hospital for taking care of Matt for me.

word.

Party At Greenstar Automotives

this was fucking weird.

brad got invited to a party that his friend, i can’t remember her name, or what she looks like, was bartending at.

we show up, all of us really wondering what the fuck is going on.

he has a huge blow up purple gurilla. thing is like 2 stories tall. it was holding a banner but i can’t remember what that said either.

the crowd was pretty diverse. brad was the only black man there besides this really funny old black dude who was working “security” at the door, making us all sign a petition, which we weren’t sure what it was a petition for, but he forced us to sign it and put on nametags.

this was already weird and we hadn’t even gotten in.

the only other real group of people there was a bunch of mexican looking thugs, all standing in a semi circle, talking quietly. they looked like people who raced cars. sek decides that one of them is hector and he will race him later.

another thing to mention was the 2 children running with balloons. i hate being fucked up around kids. sometime throughout the party on one of my many trips up for more PGA goodness, i found a pair of what look like children’s glasses.

brad puts them on. i put them on. they go home with me. now im starting to think that those probably belonged to one of the kids and i stole them, marla style.

*sigh* can’t take me anywhere anymore.

Anyway, they had this HUGE cooler filled with icecream, pga, vodka and all other fruit juices which tasted soooo good. Several were consumed and shit starts getting hazy.

the problem was i had alrady had 2 rum and waters and a 40 which Sek gracefully bought for me when he brought over the KMFDM dvd.

now im drinking pga.

this can’t go well.

so last night was a night of 2 firsts.

i’ve never been to a party at a used car lot and i’ve never thrown up at a used car lot either.

we left soon after that.

and went to Neils for beer. only thing i remember about that was evil Ken showing me the 3 knives he carries on him at all times. good ole evil ken.

well that was my saturday night. a night of puking, car lots and knives. i hope you all had a wonderful saturday. it’s now sunday, i just puked again.

time to rehydrate for sunday evening