i woke up to the sound of bacon and eggs cooking. i wake up, wiping the sleep out of my eyes, that terrible hangover that you have for 15-20 minutes before you start drinking coffee or beer.
swede hands me a tea cup of coffee, complete with the little dish underneath it, dunno what it’s called. i check email and get on aim when swede delievers my breakfast.
the picture describes what it looks like it but all the whiskey in the world couldn’t help to describe what you rich people call “breakfast”. apparently a lot of you are so well off that you can afford to eat more then once a day. no wonder terrorists are blowing themselves up.
swede gets back from class and finds me more drunk then he left me. Tonight he says we are going to use ear cones. He said he went to Whole Foods to buy some but were out. The lady at the counter asks if Swede is having “a ear wax emergency”. He says no. Swede wouldn’t lie about this.
She tells him off another hippy organic store that sells them near by.
Swede picks me up to take me to this other health food store in this quest to clean the ear holes. We locate the ear candles and head to the counter. The young woman at the counter is very much what you suspect of someone who works at a organic food store. Nothing more is required.
She puts the ear candles in the bag, not noticing the small cock roach near the bag that she just put our merchandise in. I think, “wow, it’s kinda refreshing to see someone so a bug and not even flinch, loving nature and earth that much”. She makes change and hands the change and reaches to hand the bag.
She makes the most feminine yelp i’ve heard, in and out of the bedroom and jumps a good 2 feet away from the bag. Not happy with the bug at all.
Since i live in my own filth, i pick up the bag and make the “aww you’re a good dog” voice telling it that it’s okay. However in my mind i’m really thinking “wow i get to crush a cockroach, in my bare hands, in a organic food store, in front of one of their employees”.
I start to close my grip and she goes “oh my god, you’re going to take it outside and set it free, right?”
I look at her, then at Swede, then at the bug.
You win this round, earth mother.
I walk outside, marveled at my empathy for this bug and set it free outside.
I’m not sure if the bug being freed at the last moment before death or me killing it would have made a better update but that’s a very old fashioned way of thinking.
The true update lies in the bug’s near death experiences, not mine.
Should have ended this about 3 paragraphs ago.
i love you all