So valerie and i had a talk last night.  The cycle needs to stop, we’re going different ways for a while. She leaves. I feel really bad for all my friends because i’m tired of putting them through this. I’m tired of hearing myself bitch about it.  It was so obvious what i was doing with her, just trying to mold her into what i wanted instead of risking the loneliness of being single.  It’s going to be really easy for her to get over me because it’s going to be so easy to treat her better then i have. Going to suck paying for bigger apartment….maybe i should post something on craigslist…anyway..walk to the deli with the tablet and sit there and drink by myself. and talk on aim.

I picked up my phone and called Caryn.  Caryn came up and listened to me bitch about everything and then took me out drinking. It’s nice to have friends. She sat and listened to be bitch and moan about this tired old story.  We leave the deli and go to Hoa Po’s(sp), a vietnamese resturant during the day, but they’ve started letting bands play there at night.  Really weird.   I really forgot how much I enjoyed seeing a live band. Then we go to Murphey’s to hear another band.  Really wish i could remember their name because it was pretty intense.

So much Pabst. I really love blacking out.  I have these cuts and bruises from the last few weeks of drinking. It’s going to be so sad to read these posts when im in the hospital waiting for a liver cuz i need a transplant.

Just ate a apple.  It’s funny how apples are like the exact opposite of beer.  Now i can save this post on a good note.

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