went to savacenter today to pickup some food today. there is a little trick i’ve learned in not buying more food then you can put in your messenger bag and on the handle bars. you don’t get a cart or basket. if you can carry it in your two arms/chest then it’s light enough to where it’s not a nightmare to ride home. last week i rode home with a bag of dogfood on my back and that sucked.

anyway, i’m a sucker for those rottiserie chickens they have at grocery stores. one of those, bag of salad, some bread and i’m good. so i pick up a few extra things like wine, etc. i’m about to check out, got my arms full when i realize i need bread. i go over to the bread rack, adjust the chicken, salad, bottle of wine and some pringles when my hand slips.

the plastic chicken container goes down and falls upside down into the bread rack. chicken juice spills out over everything on the rack, chicken falls on floor. i look left, look right at all the other shoppers who just saw me soak half the bread on the rack. i back away slowly, get another chicken off the heading pad and walk calmly to the self checkout.

i slide my card and notice the looks of other shoppers, just staring at me in disgust, disbelief or just surprise.

i sit here and wonder how long the chicken sat on the floor, all steam, warm and tasty looking until some minimum wage worker walked by and said “umm” and had to clean it up. then their eyes wonder up to the bread rack and go “oh wtf”.

i have a long history of causing damage to stores. anytime i go to walmart with anyone, i’ll purposely knock stuff off the shelves just to see the look on people’s faces and embarrass anyone i’m with. but this was completely unintentional which made it even better.

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