Author: Scoutmastertoad

I have no idea who's ass that is, if you know please mail me.

The owner thought i was a little strange for taking a picture of it and laughing out loud but he can go fuck himself. Check this shit out.

Technology at work:
Toad putting in a tracking number at UPS.com to see that his camera battery is OUT FOR DELIVERY. He instantly turns down the Tori, gets up to see if the UPS man left him a note on the door. From past experiences he learned he cannot hear anyone knock on the door with music playing, so he then props the front door open.

Technology not at work:
Toad receiving a email last night while drunk that said his noon meeting was cancelled. Then going out and getting plastered and thinking his 10:30am meeting is for noon so he can sleep in.

I can’t decide if the best part was when i woke up and instantly knew i fucked up or when my dad called a few minutes later to ask me how the meeting went. The joys of working with family….

For those wondering, yesterday crackhore.com was down, along with every website i’ve ever made. It came back to life sometime last night. Mad props to Darrel and his skillz for getting PHP to come to life.

For example, yesterday i learned that it is a bad idea to shave after wake and baking. Stupid one hitter. Stupid Mach 3….

Then this morning, all hungover and hungry from the night before, i wake up and remember i have to put a car up on ebay. I’m setting up the pictures, etc and i accidently include the bloody chin picture with the pictures of the car.

So i paste the ebay link to boar and a few other friends and their like “Is the picture of you bleeding supposed to be on the auction?”. I scream, hit Revise Auction, remove the bloody chin pics and learn that i shouldn’t sell cars on ebay within a hour of waking up.

The hroe camera and all it’s goodness pictureness is in wes’s bravadaoa in neils parking lot. It was we’s 21st birthday. It brougbt back a lot of mem0ries cuz it’s a diferent life af ter 21. Cuz like yeah.

I drank a lot of beer, stumbled around asking for a ride home and found one. This update is a total precum of a update before the update tommorow. Cuz tommorow i’m gonna roll up with 30 ass showing pics from last night and all you bitch ass readers will be freaking. Yeah.

Befiore i forget, i gotta give a shout out to my notre dam hores up north. I saw Ricky tonight at the bar(picture in wes’s car). I felt kinda bad cuz he looked at me and was like “dude you remember me right?” and i look at him and say “hi, no i don’t sell weed”. Turns out he went to school with me. The people you run into while running around in a bathrobe at a bar.

On a side note, i’d like to just say how weird the past 6 months have been. Only since im gonna move out of this apartment. It’s kinda started.

I look at apartments as measurements of time. “I really when me and ___ lived in ____ and we smoked a lot of _____ and we had sex with ____ all the time.”

Those are measurements of time, not years, not months, it’s ‘those times’ that really measure life. It’s been weird tho. Just when i was wanting shit to get fucked up it really has. It’s really times like this that make me feel good about being myself. That i can get fucked up and write forever in my stupid little website and at least make one person snicker.

Thats all i want 🙁

Wow it’s reall fucking late. The last 2 paragraphs had nothing to do with the introductory paragraph. If you read all the bullshit before then you’re just shaking your head saying “why did i click on that link before, this website is pretty fucking lame”.

I do it too.

🙁 hehe

crackhore#$@H#$@#@@#$@#$@#

Then Chad brings over a bottle of 1996 Zindfandel. Down goes the free sandwich from last night and down goes the Darvocet. Then down goes the wine. I’m gonna lose mad games of warcraft tonight 🙁

After that, i gotta jump into the movies. I’m gonna follow Will’s style and just take some small parts before i get my first break. Just like Will did with Bad Boys with Martin Lawrence. Thats the movie where i’ll help out on the soundtrack. Then from that comes the music video. Then i will be, the white, Will Smith.

Then Will and I will do our first movie. I’m gonna convince him to do a sequel of Wild Wild West with me. I can be the villian, it’s okay, i’m willing to lose to the king. I have this great idea for a scene too. When James West(Will Smith) finds a time machine and comes to the year 2002 to fight crime. He’ll sneak into my huge warehouse of weed that i’m importing into America. But right before we fight we’ll break into song with some catch bass beats blaring in the background while we fight and rap that unique brand of Will Smith Rap.

I can picture it so clearly. James West in his cowboy boots shooting at me while i dodge the bullets ala Matrix style. He’ll finally trap me in a magical little cube and fire me into space, where i’ll return again. The sequel.

So thats basically what i’ve decided to do with my life.

First Chad brings over 2 sandwiches, one turkey, one ham. I come inside from my run, already wet from the rain pouring down and eat the ham. Two hours later, i eat the turkey as a pre-drinking barrier before we go to Nate’s weekly at Hardrock.

Of course at Hardrock the liquor flowed. I had numerous Markers Marks and was definetely feeling it. Ian gets this huge plastic cup of gin and tonic water. This cup was a foot tall and was mostly gin. When Ian got up to say hi to a old friend, i pour little of his drink into mine. My drunk logic said that since Ian was driving that he didn’t need to have that whole drink.

This happened about 3 times. When Ian finally gets back i confess to him that i’ve warezed have his drink.

Guess it’s okay tho since they mix him another monster gin and tonic. Then they do shots. I had half a bar all yelling COME ON TOAD, DO A SHOT! while i’m trying to keep the Maker’s Mark from coming up all over the bar.

After that we decide that it’s time to leave. I stumble behind Ian as we walk into the Hardrock kitchen and make 2 sandwiches. This part is kinda blurry and i remember eating half of it when i got home but i’m sure it’s still in my fridge.