Author: Scoutmastertoad

just looked at a aparment about ten feet from some hole in the wall bar….just saw some people smoking pot on a sidewalk…need to just sign the lease now

god so gary and tammy say they talk to my landlord the other day. they mention im going to move out soon. i had been thinking about buying a house or something in this great city but i’m just looking and flirting, not dating any houses.

tammy says she saw my apartment on craigslist.

i walk calmly back to my computer and type in my address in craigslist.

Yup that’s my address.

So i do what any rational person would do, call my landlord.

I go “so heh yah about my apartment being on craigslist”…..

He just had the address wrong, he always gets them confused.

I talk with him for a little bit longer about websites.

I mean seriously. Anyone who knows anything going on in my life knows this was almost the straw that put the camel on top of the building with a gun.
Anyway, i’m soldiering forward. I’m just going to keep drinking, cutting and yelling my way to webdesign heaven.

sitting here at 10:48pm all drunk blaring supertramp – goodbye stranger at the top of my $20 altec lansing speakers:

ScoutMassaToad: wikipedia is sitting on my face
Chipunk007: all up on it?
ScoutMassaToad:    yes
ScoutMassaToad: all
ScoutMassaToad: up
ScoutMassaToad: on
ScoutMassaToad: it
ScoutMassaToad: >:o
Chipunk007: ooo baby

So friday i get a ride home, well not exactly home, a ride to a bar where a bar where i’m meeting pam and anne to work on shit.

I get there and order a abita amber and eventually get a shot. we have a pretty good meeting, lots of yelling and shouting and drinking. We packup the laptops and wander up to the bar and have a drink there before we go our seperate ways.

This girl sits down next to us. Anne is telling me how much we’re pulling in per week now. I go “Then we have enough to start buying girls drinks!” and I pay for her drink. She laughs and thanks me. The old guy thats sitting next to her and my group start talking to her. I watch her carefully remove a cigarette. I quickly pick up a book of matches and light it one handed. Everyone sitting around is us like “wtf how did you do that”. Remember kids, you can only gurantee if you use a fresh book of matches each time you light one handed. I dunno what it is but a fresh pack is the best way.

Anyway *cough*

She says she works at a bar downtown and was just havin ga few drinks before work. I’m like “oh damn i love that place, havn’t been there in years.” We decide to take share a cab. The cab pulls up, we pour our drinks into cups and head out.

I walk with her to work, get a drink, exchange information and head out into the quarter. This time i was able to go out and have a few drinks and not end up sleeping in a alleyway. That was last friday.

I get home and go over to Garry and Tammy’s. Ray decides he’s going to teach me a few irish phrases. He thinks this is a great idea with me completely obliterated after a evening drinking. He writes out a phrase and i read it. Then i make notes. So hilarious. I can barely speak english at this point and im trying to figure out Irish…oh well, i still have my notes.

figures.

i was actually kinda depressed about it. i guess this happens as you get older. oh well, people get divorced everyday, ya know? thats what i gotta remember when i think about all the married women i want…

the divorce rate is on my side.

if she’s working today, i shaved, everything. look wonderful.

I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat

rawr

So ive been getting a lot of feedback about the black security guard who is going to stun and kill me. I can’t wait till next week. I wish people liked me.

Everybody knows that you are insane :(.

i think im going to go to sleep. I’m tired of existing in your world.

nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think i’ll go eat pabst.
It’s great that my neighbors have been reading crackhore and bringing up things i post in real life. It’s weird, like “why are you reading my diary…that i gave you the address to…oh lol yeah i love black chicks”

Oh well,  i love black chicks but they are disgusted by crackers like me.

I’m doing it because i know it’s going to end badly and i know it’s going to make a good update. I want you all there to feel the sweet nectar of her rejecction.

I’m so ready for the rejection that i havn’t even planned out a date with her. I want to go with this default answer of “anywhere you want, anytime”. I really don’t know how to hit on black girls, this is going to end with me getting shot.

This is far from over, i’ll see her next week. Please keep reading.

You are all invited to the wedding.

Wayne, you are my best man

so one of my best friends at the MIC is leaving. he’s from memphis and we’ve had a brotherly bond since i met him. we all went out to eat.

we get on the topic of the security guard that i’m in love with. (read above, i still havn’t hit on her, im a pussy, i know). One of my great co-workers, shawn gives me the idea that i should put a note that says “will you go out with me? :)” on top of my id badge that i gotta show when i pull up at the gate. Everyone at the table thinks this is a great idea.

We file out of the resturant, making sure i’m in the first car that goes into the gate so everyone behind us can see me get shot/beaten to death by the security guards when we try shawn’s plan.

Bam, it’s one of the guy security guards. My guard is in the security hut and she waves and i wave furiously. I save the note in the car for next week.

Feeling strong every day.

So last week she took off friday so there was no chance to hit on my security guard. She was there today and i start loling hard, like badge shaking in my hand. I’m going to try again tomorrow.

It’ll be great when the CNN commentors are reading parts of the “crackhore terrorist” who was shot recently 🙁 im going to be the next terri shavio/bong hits for 4 jesus guy

One year ago today i met Lauren. I was walking up Magazine and she was sitting there with the rest of her gutter punk friends when she asked me for a can of beer. Who knew 1 year later i would still be in love with her.

You were wild, where are you nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lol 🙁 god

Oh well. If you love something you just gotta let it go and if it comes back then it’s truely meant to be.

I almost want to go down to Magazine and look for her.

Oh well…