It’s nights like last night that make me wonder if this is a cursed land. I’m just waiting for the terrorists or our goverment saying it was terrorists, smuggles in a nuke to just finish this poor city off.
It’s not like this city has really strong buildings anymore to soak up some of the weather. Just fema trailers and beads, off to the wizard of oz.
So i browse that stupid site WAY too much more then any healthy individual. I usually just browse the New Orleans members but i occasionally i’ll use it to prove points. I was thinking the other day how great it would be to meet a girl who really liked mars volta. Mars volta and hotornot.com, i just described most of january.
Anyway, i do a few searches and i’m pretty sure this was a great idea.
Like any good experiment, i gotta show my work.
It just goes on and on. Wes and i discussed the results of my project and he commented recently he knew things were going to go south with a lady friend of his when she mentioned she likes to listen to dave matthews band while working out and that angry music isn’t necessary.
Makes me wonder if i should ditch hotornot.com and start using last.fm
Doesn’t really matter where i get my rejection. I had a argument today with my bookkeeper on the legality of saying AdultFriendFinder.com is a business expense. I’m “researching”, not looking at women.
Seriously. This is a research erection, not a sex one.
Wow the first weekend of mardi gras is over and i feel like i got hit by a fucking bus. Could barely eat lunch. Friday i went downtown with 2 guys from work and threw shit off the balcony. This is until i decide to go walking around bourbon, hunting women folk.
Apparently while i was gone, some super model looking chick was showing my 2 friends from work her clit ring. I never fucking win.
I ended up talking to some random girl and a bartender at a random daquri shop. I vaguely remember buying shots. The girl at the bar talks to me for a while and i eventually ask her what she does. Dog groomer.
So i’m back walking on bourbon when i decide i need a cigar. I walk into a random cigar shop and the fairly attractive girl behind the counter asks for my id. I surrender it quickly and she goes “oh wow, thats weird, we were both on the same day of the same year”. We make small talk for a second but the store was fairly packed. I want to go back and see if she’ll have a cup of coffee or something with me. I’d be interested to see the similarities.
I really don’t remember much of the rest of the evening. I walk home from the quarter, which is a terrible, terrible idea in retrospect. I need to stop testing fate. Only takes one little flick of fate and there are no more crackhore updates.
Saturday night was pretty much a blur. The crew went up to Finns. Pabst and shots. Mmm.
Now sunday is when my fun weekend gets bad. I’m not going to really go into details but i got hit on and kissed a really really large woman. Like i could go about my life and not write about this but it was a actual a sign of self control which is a rare occurance. I luckily avoided her coming back home with me. I woke up this morning like “wtf”, yelling at myself in the mirror, BAD, BAD, BAD!
Oh well. Just can’t go back to that bar for a while.
i’m pretty predictable when it comes down to it. i like to drink, laugh, and work. tori, pabst, etc.
so when anna nicole smith died i freaked out. like i can’t believe she’s dead. i woke up today like any normal day but then i saw the headline again on cnn and it hit me all over again.
now a lot of people might of thought she was a money grubbing whore. before she died if you had asked me to describe anna i would have probably used that same sentence but worked the word cum into it.
i’m not going to tell you what to think.
anyway, now that she is dead i think i have completely reversed my view on her. in the end she was just a poor little texas girl who got sucked up by hollywood, etc, and it spits out a corpse. how many defenseless white girls does this happen to on an average day?
you should have never gone to hollywood 🙁
So i signed up for last.fm
It’s really pretty cool. My list is kind of embarassing right now but whatever. My only complaint is it puts a stupid icon in your systray but it’s still a pretty cool site all around.
so last night it’s like 2am and i can’t sleep. i’m laying there, just thinking, mind seeking every single hole to fill.
i think about wearing clean underear. because you might die in a car wreck. people always tell you that.
it got me thinking tho, when you die, you shit yourself.
IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU WORE THOSE BOXERS FOR WEEK.
IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU WEAR UNDERWEAR AT ALLL.
So tomorrow, dear crackhore reader, think about all the lies we’ve been told over the years. I’ve stepped on cracks and i don’t care what my underwear or lack of underwear, or how long i’ve worn it.
Cuz in the end…ugh nevermind.
i really need to buy some shit soon. i mean a computer desk, a bed, a couch for when people come over. i’m not talking surround sound speakers, a tv, a toaster oven or anything. just the basics.
it’s fucked. i either need to move in the next month or buy furniture and nest here. it’s fucked up when you look forward to going to your office because it has more stuff to sit on.
sleeping on a air mattress isn’t that bad. lesser people would bitch about it but i honestly love it. i’ve noticed when i tell a girl proudly that i sleep on a $40 walmart air mattress, you can suddenly see the look of wonder in her eyes die, along with any wetness she had…anyway..
now that my car is dead thanks to a new orleans manhole cover, i’m pretty much exactly what every woman wants.
i don’t like complicated dates, dinner and drinks. don’t be afraid to message me.
So in the never ending drama of toad’s spin new orleans show, i destroy the oilpan on my car on a manhole cover. Thanks.
I got a ride to work from work with a woman from work who i know goes right past my apartment on the way home. She has no problem giving me a ride. Yay.
She’s salary so she’s there until like 6:30 and at this point i’m starting to go insane. After 10 hours in the little box, you’ve listened to almost everything once and you don’t feel like working anymore.
I hear the eleveator ding and she gets in. Shit, she’s leaving without me. I hit the down button and the other elevator beckons my call. Get down to the lobby, she’s already in the parking lot. I wave my badge at the little sensor that unlocks the door and say “margareeeeeeeeeeeeet”.
She laughs and apoligizes. I go back upstairs and get my phone, jacket, etc and meet her in the parking lot. On the drive back she asks what i’m doing this weekend. I pictured myself sitting in my little blue camping chair in my empty apartment, drinking whiskey, smoking and talking to girls on the internet that i’ll probably never meet.
I just said i didn’t know.
My car situation just seems to get worse and worse. I miss working from home. Oh well. The way things are going i won’t be surprised if i get fired over nothing. I’m washing clothes in my neighbor’s washing machine right now while they are out of town. The problem is their dryer doesn’t work so i’m going to call a cab and have them drive me to the laundrymat where i’ll take over all the dryers.
I’m sure drinking whiskey is going to make this the most wonderful afternoon ever.
It’s a little early for a crackhore update but i feel like i should put this down before i get distracted.
Today i had to call ****ee, the woman at work who ive been madly in love with since i moved down here. She had a phone number i needed which seemed like a good excuse to call her and hear her sweet voice.
She answers the phone, i tell her i need someone’s phone number. She says “Well, i’m so important that i keep all my phone numbers in a excel spreadsheet, thats how i roll”.
I almost drop the phone and go “Did you just say, thats how you roll?”. She responds with a yes. I regret it now but i blurted out “i love you”. I hope this isn’t brought up at the next company meeting….
Last night i had to buy a razor to shave before…today. I stopped at the Walmart in Northern LA and bought some razors. A remix of Moby’s South Side is playing softly as i pick up a razor.
Standing in line, still just shaking my head, thinking for one second this is the one time my ipod could make a situation more manly.
I shaved my goattee off. Where there was once thought inspiring hair is just cold skin and lies lies lies.