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too much time to think

Today was a pretty quality day, things done. Feelings had. Plans made. Eric told me while I was in Memphis that he thought I was the happiest when I was working my gov contract. He said I had a purpose that my business never gave me. It actually made me really sad to hear it because it's something I probably need to face. It's time to put everything on auto pilot and do something else. Not blogging. Hard to ...

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Expectations are disappointments in disguise.

I read this in a reddit thread the other day and can't think of anything better to describe my life right now. The way I look at it, if I'm going to really go after women outside of my normal range then I'm going to face a lot of rejection. More then probably before because I've never tried this before. Reflecting on it, I've always been a lazy fuck when it comes to pursuing women. It works but honestly thi ...

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depressing memphis update

I am never driving myself down I-55 alone ever again. Megabus and enterprise rent a car when I get to Memphis from now on. I did a amazing job at seeing almost all my old friends and but did miserable as a family member. Need to spend more time at parent's house with parents instead of using it simply as a place to sleep in between drinking sessions with my old life. To  be honest, i seriously sometimes won ...

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Soulless Citrus Brew Log

I had so much fun yesterday that I drove to Brewstock and bought 2 ingredient kits. I figure if I'm going to recruit someone to bottle I might as well get whoever it will be to help with 2 buckets instead of wasting their time with one. At least that's how I'm justifying it. No coffee today, went to gym this morning and went for a good run. Last night I went out to my favorite restaurant with one of the mos ...

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life really isn’t worth living

It's not, it really sucks when you think about it. The day to day, in and out of bullshit that you do to just "pay rent" then you maybe get to "retire" towards the end of your life and that's it. That's the sum of your time on life. You have MAYBE met the love or your life or are somewhat happy but most of us only get a small glimpse or taste of what maybe happiness even maybe looks like. I'm talking in abs ...

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Seeds of Despair Brew Log

I haven't been brewing at all and I have been feeling it well up inside me and finally exploding on this november afternoon. Pushups, pullups, situps, leg lifts, protein powder, coffee and the one hitter. Called Wes, caught up on how both of our lives suck and are awesome at the same time. I actually boiled the water way too much before steeping grain, need to put thermometer in immediately next time. Steep ...

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crackhore.com relaunch

I decided today I am going to relaunch this site. I have been flooding facebook with content for too long. It's time to move out of that crappy type of social media and work on something really grand, like crackhore.com. I'm going to be including the Facebook connectivity app so you can "like" like the kids say, this on Facebook so you ca  be alerted of new content or whatever. The goal is going to be lofty ...

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Camo Banana

I really don't recall the idea of why I decided to paint a banana with camo pants. I believe this is actually a self portrait, from Halloween 2011 when I wore for 3 days straight...camo pants and a banana costume. By the end of Halloween it had cigarette burns, jagermeister stains and was a absolute bio hazard awesome waste. To commemorate that Halloween and all of the fun that was had, I painted the first ...

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The United States Of Pug

The United States Of Pug is a controversial piece of art because it depicts 8 stripes, instead of the standard 13, which happen to stand for the 8 colonies of Chinese pug dogs that were eradicated in the early part of the 1500's. Situated off the West coast in what is known as modern day Sacramento, the pugs landed and set up 8 colonies and began trading with local Indian tribes. They were soon wiped out by ...

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