pop quiz hot shot, you’re cable modem is proper fucked and you have 2 websites that have to be uploaded in the next 10 minutes.
shoot the hostage!
my hungover, tired and all around pissed off self, copies the files to the laptop, grabs sek’s attenna and get in the car. I drive around until i find a open network, release, renew, back up on the net.
Upload files, call client, he gets a good laugh, i get a weird look from a lady walking her dog and the world is safe for democracy again.
i love how my site auto updates when i’m drunk. i wake up the next morning to have someone mention something i wrote last night….
i’ve been to therapists before, and i’ve talked about my problems with life. We know i have them. We have a dozen of them, ranging from aim to alcohol. I’ve talked about this paranoia that i’ve developed and they havnt’ really gave me anything worth working with.
See, i have dreams. I have dreams, in several different scenarios, where police are chasing me. The last one i had i was being towed behind a power boat on a little boogie board and they were chasing me on a identical power boat. I’ve had so many of these “cops chasing me in weird enviroment” dreams that it’s started to make me wonder.
I drive around all day long, ultra paranoid of those blue and white lights in my rear view mirror. The way my heart beat increases when i see that SERVE AND PROTECT sticker pull up behind me, i’m terrified.
Tonight i went out with a cop and 2 of my friends for a “normal night of drinking and going to several bars”. I harassed him the entire night, asking him all sorts of terrible questions, asking what’s the weirdest cop situation he’s been in, etc. I was really intrested.
After he told me about how he a lady shot herself in front of him and the brains went down his shirt, i kinda backed off. Toad, king of awkward situations.
When i was in highschool, i had a teacher that told us once that teachers were just regular people, working their job, trying their best and were just like everyone else. It all kinda made sense at that point…i saw them as just normal people…not the evil tyrants that i always thought them to be. Just normal people, coming to work, taking their anger at traffic out on us, etc.
After talking to a officer of the law tonight, hearing him say “yeah we make fun of cops who people over for weed”, really kinda made me feel warm inside. Maybe there’s a deep emotion that all people have, that they know what is really right and wrong, they know, deep down inside that we shouldn’t hurt each other…
i am going to bed
it’s almost 5am
humans don’t really love each other
get to bed and wake up and work
because money is the only friend you have
ugh regretting that bottle of wine at 11am yesterday….thinking about going back to bed…tuesday may not happen today…
i always feel a urge to update after going to court to pay speeding tickets…it’s almost worth the court costs just to be able to stand in line and force everyone around me to talk to me….after 20 minutes in any line in the south you’re gonna start having a conversation…it’s inevitable…
i woke up around 7:45 this morning…a ex girlfriend laying in bed with me…..after having sex, smoking a little pot, i get up, rush into the shower and off to court we go…again…
as i drive to court i realize that a lot of black people are doing exactly what i’ve been doing the past 24 hours. There were hundreds of black people in hard rock last night old school sunday, they all probably went home, like me, drank more, etc and woke up next to a ex girlfriend….
then they had to wake up, just like me, still all fucked up, put on some nice clothes and roll on down to 201 poplar. I go through security, go to district III and see the huge line. I’m still really fucked up at this point and in a really manic kind of mood so i’m just waiting for the chance to talk to anyone.
I end up talking with the old black woman behind me and the gangsta looking brother in front of me. The white guy behind the old woman turns up every once in a while and then turns away, like if to say “not happy” in a subliminal way…
Anyway, i’m one of those people that is too damn friendly for his own good. I used to love taking the train to new orleans cuz i would always have one meal where i would be really drunk and get to force 3 people to have a meal with me.
I love human interaction.
We all start talking about why we’re down there. The lady behind me was pulled over and given a $175 ticket cuz she didn’t have any liscense plates on her car. She just bought the car, was driving it home, gets pulled over and gets a ticket. Sure, she’ll get it dismissed but she had to get up at fucking 8am to do it.
This pisses me off. I’m already high as hell, really really manic and really really upset about our goverment. We continue talking, i keep making vague threats to our goverment, the guy in front of me laughs hysterically when i told him i was at old school last night.
We keep talking, the old woman keeps lecturing me about how i need to not speed and save my money, i keep laughing and talking about how it’s not my lifestyle to drive the speed limit… the guy in front of me, all Fubu’d out with a gold chain and his girl with him are dying laughing and almost everyone in line is turning to look at us…i can’t even describe how funny it was..
i go up to the judge, plead not guilty, walk out with court costs, pay my court costs from the last ticket, make a joke to the lady asking if i can get a bulk rate…she doesn’t laugh…i go home….
lalalalala *turns up tori*
right on, you get closer, and closer………..
lalala
called my name
theres no one here…lalala boys on my left side, boys on my right and your not here………..
lalalalallaa court in 7 hours……wheeeeeeeeee
Ian told me today, at 6pm, when we were both awake, that “Meathead”, a HUGE black man of height that i can’t even begin to describe in simple text. Sometimes he sneaks up behind me at the bar and just stands behind me until i turn around to face his stomach. Then he picks me up a little and we both start laughing and i tell him to watch out cuz i might throw up.
Old school sunday. Where you are the minority.
This week im gonna wear my 107.1 shirt again and definetely gonna bring a camera to get a shot of Meathead wearing his crackhore.com shirt. The first time i gave it to him, he put it on, i got 3 hilarious pictures of the tallest black man i’ve ever, dancing around with a drink in both hand blazing a crackhore t.
A stream of urine was running down my pants from laughter.
Time to get some food, get some beer and get back in the car….
i fucking hate when people ask me that…..how i am doing is completely up to your ideas of good and bad. I can say i’m doing great but you may take another glance at my life and say it’s tumbling out of control..
i always respond “i can’t complain”. Because honestly, if you’re breathing, you can’t, you’re not allowed to complain. So i shrug and say i can’t complain. I’m alive, i have a place to live, i have invoices out….i’ll probably live another year….there seriously isn’t a thing i can complain about….
i still look at people like a deer in headlights when they ask “how i’ve been doing”. This isn’t a new problem….i remember talking to therapists in highschool about how it bothered me that people would give out this small sense of sympathy yet keep it so formal….it really bothered me and i never could express why….
From now on when i run into someone i havn’t seen in a few months and they ask how i’ve been, i’m going to say “fucking amazing. Cuz quite honestly, i ate twice today, had some beer, hungout with a incredibly sexy girl, drove home and saw the sun come up. It’s been amazing.
I am doing amazing.
So are you.
7am….should i…
a) eat some food left in the fridge
b) smoke pot
c) all of the above…
ever since we got that coffee maker…ive discovered a kind of freedom….sleep is for the weak….3-4 hours, a few times a day is plenty enough…..benjamin franklin agreed…
get in memphis’s way now
WASHINGTON (CNN) — The nephew of Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was arrested in the United States on February 19 on a charge of having an expired visa, a spokesman for the Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement told CNN.
He was released Friday but could be deported after a hearing before an immigration judge, the spokesman said.
The nephew, Amir Javed Musharraf, registered with immigration authorities February 19 as part of a Justice Department program requiring men from 25 countries, including Pakistan, to be interviewed and fingerprinted.
Musharraf, who was living in Memphis, Tennessee, had been in the United