Month: May 2006

Looks like ole Adrian is having problems loll

So this girl ive talking to and drinking with came over around 11am while peter and rachel were over helping me work. This is a great 2nd date….i’m sitting here at my computers drinking, blaring music, hawaiian shirt unbuttoned, sword chilling on my lap. Like most people attempt to show people a different side of them, a better side of them, when meeting someone new. This is pure undiluted toad.
She hangs out and drinks with us and then all 3 of us make a drunken adventure to Kroger to buy mixers and food.  I love going to the grocery store trashed out of my mind. All the colors, smells….knocking over displays with the shopping cart…good times…

This is the best 2nd date ever. Lets just hope she talks to me again. I tend to get a little umm….crass when ive been drinking all day.  Oh well.  I think i’m getting a lot better at just being totally apathetic when it comes to anything that doesn’t involve building websites. The house has taken on a FightClub type of style…peter cooking chilli, mixing drinks for me…rachel cleaning up the kitchen …..

Two pair of hawaiian shirts? check

Two pairs of camo pants? check

$200 of personal drinking money check

i fucked up last week. if this sounds vague it’s because it’s supposed to be. Adding harsh details like actual numbers would probably make me open the wrists. Life sucks. I blame Bush for this. Or Jesus. I blame Jesus more then i blame Bush, what is up with that?

FUCK! anyway. god this website deviates from the point more then a mars volta guitar rift.

My bank/accounting setup is a little weird now. Just setup a new bank account, got someone doing my accounting part time, processing credit cards, etc. Problem is it’s basically locked up my money in the bank until i get the card for it. My new bank also isn’t within walking distance. Anyway,i bought something and it ended up costing me more then what i really had. Like i could have bought this on a different credit card…could have called my nice parents and said “hey imma buy something on this card, i’ll pay you back in a week when this bank thing gets fixed.”. Instead i accidently overdraft myself, sending me into overdraft hell where you have to scramble to dump money into the account before i lost even more money.

I like banks. Fucking templars and their evil banking system. I’m going to start trading websites for hawaiian shirts, alcohol, drugs and pussy. Cut out the goddamn middle man. Did i just type that? Oh well.

So i went to the bank today to freeze one of my accounts so i wouldn’t get sodomized by anymore overdraft fees while i switch over to my new bank. There is this old old lady talking to the only “guy at the desks”, cuz you know, the tellers can’t do shit. What i want to do is replace tellers with machines and add more “desk people”. Peter and i sit and about 30 minutes of our life is just stripped away from us waiting for this old lady to finish talking to “one of the desk people”. Only one desk person.  I do not like waiting. I really really don’t. It’s just like i could feel the precious few seconds of my life just draining. This lady is asking the only desk guy about non banking things. He’s talking about he’s quitting his job soon. I stare at my watch, look at the clock, look at him. Like what Marla does when she has to go outside and im too busy talking on aim. I almost walk over and say something.

Finally. Relief washes over me in a awesome wave
I freeze my account which takes about 10 seconds. I’m sure none of those tellers could have possibly been able to move a mouse around.  Maybe they need like a 3rd group of employees, like not just tellers and not just desk people. I dunno, guess it’s not “cost effective” for 3 levels of ants.

Where was i going with this? Oh yeah, my suicide. Yes. So. No, wait. Hi.

Lets see. It’s time to pull this update from it’s downward spiral and level it out right above rock bottom. Things probably went pretty well today. Sure, bad things happen but i guess that’s just life.

Remember kids, don’t be afraid to steal what you can’t afford.

So im getting more and more sick. Not the normal kind of sickness i write about here, this is more of a chest cough. I went to bed early after Caryn stood me up for karaoke….i really hope…what was her pseudoname…melissa didn’t go to neils to try to see me.

So i woke up this morning, called rachel and told her we’re postponing our meeting today, texted peter to say we’re postponing the meeting today, did 300 situps and drank half a bottle of nyquil.

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.

At least my coughing has stopped.

I think i’ve taken on almost every mental illness now. These are all misspelled but I have serious signs of manic depression, attention deficet disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, multiple personality disorder, agoraphobia, alcoholism, and lately the meglomania of being self employed has really started to take hold.

I feel the mask of sanity is slipping. I’ve worn nothing but hawaiian shirts for almost 5 days now. I listen to the first Mars Volta album at least once a day.

You know I scroll up and read what i write and it makes sense that i might be having a little trouble finding girls/women compatiable with me. This might take a little longer then expected. Probably longer then my poor destroyed body probably has.

I really need to start writing more cheery updates. I just realized im going to the ballet tonight with my mom to watch my sister dance. This day just keeps getting better and better.  I wonder if either of them reads these updates.

it’s a crazy world to live alone

a ball and chain i call my own

Well this has been a pretty shitty day. I can’t say it hasn’t. The bad news just kept rolling in. It really does seem like life is a huge conspiracy against me. Oh well…..I need to look at this way. Last night was one of the better nights in the last 6 months so i don’t have it too bad. Sure i’m overdrafted, my car is going to cost me a shit load more to get fixed then i expected. I mean i guess it could be worse. I still have my health. Except i have a really bad cold.  So i guess i don’t even have my health.

On a good note, Peter cooked some bad ass chilli today. If you learn one thing from crackhore.com, it’s that Texas people can cook some bad ass food.

Peter got hit by some guy a few weeks ago and his car has been in the shop. Thus he has been cast down to the ranks of rental cars. He got a neon. No cd player. Has something called a “tape deck”, i dunno, sounds familar, kinda like floppy discs.

Anyway, his girlfriend busts out ye old school box of tapes and finds this. We roll deep into the disc golf tournament with PHM blaring. Fucking hippies.

I’ve started it and you’re all fucking in it. everyone who has ever talked to me.
Especially if you are a girl. Or a website client.
I’m going to give first drafts to my small circle of friends. I’m trying to remember every story or experience that has made my life what it is but i’m going to need their help. I know i’ve forgot a lot of good shit and need their help to help with the dates.

It’s been rough tho. My life hasn’t been all that great.  A lot of bad things have lead me to where i’m at now. I just want to record enough to where i won’t disappear completely. I guess i will someday, just like this site, but i might as well try.

Kinda makes me want to have kids. So they can continue to drink and write.

A little prelogue.

This weekend I went with Peter to his disc golf tournament. A culture i am totally oblivious to. Like i think it’s a bunch of hippies out there drinking, doing drugs, and throwing frisbees. It’s apparently just like golf. Like multiple discs, really fucking tough. The first day peter is out there in a hawaiian shirt, we have a backpack full of beer and lots of good pics are taken. The next day we roll out there and the only person in peter’s group that shows up is a 16 year old from god knows where. Needless to say this kid is probably never going to be the same. I can say this for disc golf. I like hippies, i don’t know why or how anyone can hate hippies. Donation food available, everyone drinking beer, just having a good time. After a day of drinking beer and walking around, i come home, eat some ribs and pass out around 6pm.

I wake up at midnight and start drinking jug wine. I don’t know how this is going to help my day…i kinda fool myself thinking i’ll be drunk by 3am and go back to bed and wake up at 9am.

Melissa msgs me and asks if i wanna go out tonight. I warn her that i’ve been up for almost 24 hours and that i might be quite as charming or cute as i normally am. She wants to go out regardless.

It’s tough writing about a girl a few minutes after she drops you off at your apartment but i do it anyway. I don’t care. This is crackhore. This site is sustained by these drunken, embarassing updates. When those stop then just turn off the lights. It’s a great test of a woman’s strength tho. If she can handle being updated about then she jumps another hurdle. The worst part is the next hurdle is karaoke this Wednesday.

Anyway, this girl is drop dead beautiful and i don’t care if she knows i know.

So……Melissa. Yeah, that’s a good name. So I’ve talked to Melissa alot over the few past few weeks and for some reason she wants to meet me. Luckily my good friend Rachel knows her and convinces her i’m sane enough to meet. Rachel rules, no way i could have done this. We go up to the Rally Point to play some poool. We walk in and Aenima is blaring. I love this bar. When the bartender asks me if i want to pick another cd out when Aenima is done or another Rolling Rock, I say both. I run out to Melissa’s car and grab the Mars Volta cd i burned for her. I hand it to the bartender, she puts it. Rachel walks and looks up at the speakers and says “wow it’s just like Toad’s apartment.”. So awesome. I think I understand missionaries spreading religion. Spreading burned copies of a album is the same thing? No? Okay. Nevermind.
We head out to another bar. Melissa is a lot better at pool that i expected. This sucks. We play more pool, 8 cops walk in, i pretend like the 3 beers belong to rachel, melissa and i all belong to me. No one goes to jail. Yay.

I’m not really sure where this update should end because i really want….melissa to talk to me again so we’ll just leave it here. Hail satan.

went to the zoo with brad. drank a bunch  before. jumped a fence and pet a horse. interactive zoo ftw.now im drinking at the bar, wish i had something to do. someone call me

i really don’t know how you people wake up at 7am everyday. It’s 4:50pm and it feels like midnight. Gonna sleep like a fucking infant. My day started when …lets call her emily called saying she was outside. I grab my backpack and the computer im setting up at their office. I’m not really hungover, just still drunk from last night’s myspace girl trainwreck conversation.

I sit up at the office, talk on aim, stalk on myspace and actually sell some websites. Around 11am i snap and i ask..lets call her Tiffany, the sales woman says she’s going to lunch. I beg her to drop me off at place that sells beer. I sit at the east end grill for 4 hours, drawing in my tablet, then drawing on paper, texting about 50 people with the msg “hail satan!”, when emily finally picks me up to go to the bank.

I roll deep into the bank wearing some camo pants, a black hot 107.1 shirt, hacker hat, metal bracelet, representing. I’m also really feeling the 5 beers. While we’re filling out the papers for my merchant account, he asks if the statements should be sent to my home address. I say “i dunno, probably gonna be evicted pretty soon, better send them to the office”. He looks up at Emily and then back at me and goes “okay, can do”. I sign the rest of the papers and stumble out of the bank.

We get the car and Emily starts laughing and says don’t mention you’re going to be evicted soon to your bank.  I dunno, i thought it was funny. No one has any sense of fucking humor anymore. I’m glad i still think it’s funny. My ability to entertain myself is beyond your grasp.