Author: Scoutmastertoad

i called to get a $3.50 refund from godaddy today. told the guy that was 3 pabst i wasn’t going to let them have. i doubt they even have pabst in canada where he’s located.

i know i should be writing something to make me feel better but i don’t even know what to put this under. Last night i went to the deli to see my friend Levi who had just gotte back from the Army. I walked up, got lost, realized i left my wallet, they kept asking if i was okay…..totally smashed on pills hope nothing bad happened.  Woke up at home in bed…..they’re not answering my calls….i hope i didn’t pass out there and had to be drug out by my feet.

 I’m chaining myself to the computer desk when i start drinking.

Gawd, i can’t believe i’ve actually made progress in fixing this site. The next step is getting the images sections happy.

So it’s freezing cold here, literally. Woke up this afternoon to my wonderful little ghetto city covered in a dangerous white substance. We went to Wal*Mart last night which a fun experience. I love looking into the eyes of the poor housewives, stocking up on water, totally terrified that the civilization that she knows and loves could come tumbling down because it’s going to snow and ice up. 

Which it does every fucking year.

 I think it bothers me because their poor husband probably sits in cubicle land 80 hours a week to pay for the gas and electric bill thats going to crush them this month.

 Anyway.

 I wanted to post a link to this

http://www.wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=4521140

This morning when I was scraping off my car at the hotel, I saw a lady scraping off her car with a coat hanger,” says Coleman.

 God, that mental image is just so awesome.  Nothing spells Memphis like some dumbass chick with a bent coathanger scraping ice off her windshield.  I guess i shouldn’t be talking shit cuz my car is still in the shop but at least i have a ice scraper there.

I really don’t want to post but i have to. I don’t think Cheney shot this guy.

 I see them all sitting at a table like “okay we’re getting a lot of heat on this cia leak, we need something drastic”.  Cheney sits up, straightens his tie and goes “Okay, Bush has been taking a lot of heat lately, it’s my turn :(“.  He calls his press secretary and bam, we’ve forgotten about Iraq, the cia leak, Haliburton, EVERYTHING gets dropped because we gotta talk about it.

This is almost as bad as the miners dying.  Miners day everday. It’s a tough job. Webdesigners die everyday too.  I know i have problems focusing and could probably use something to medicate me and keep me on task but even i just don’t care. What you guys don’t know is Cheney probably shoots a Arab with a rifle every morning, like in Schindler’s List.  Maybe it’s cuz the guy is white and old. If he had shot a black old guy then they probably wouldn’t have even reported it to the police.

I think i’ve met my quota of offending at least 2 races in this update, goodnight.

I’ve fallen in love with WordPress and i’m moving in with…..her.  I’m moving my things out of Mambo’s apartment, and while i’m at it, i’m also going back to my old CMS’s house, that punk bitch named PMachine, and get some content i left over there.

I’ve had it with Mambo’s drama and PMachine was just the bad one night stand that you can never forget.  I’ve got Pmachine’s furniture arranged in WordPress’s dope ass condo but I still have a truckload of Mambo to import.

Now here’s the real kicker. How much do i really love WordPress? Is this just the common CMS puppy love that i’ve had so many times before? I guess only time will tell.

I have to decide tho, how much of my shit i’m going to move into this shaved, sexy little CMS i’ve got setup. I’ve got my shitty text updates spread all over her place but where do i put my images? Should i use another piece of software and hope that WordPress and her get some sweet hot threesome action with me? It’s always a nice dream but that hardly ever works.

3am friday morning.

this has been such a terrible week. everything i have touched has instantly turned into shit. probably lost 1 client, gained another who thinks im a idiot, still don’t have a fridge.

my crackhore business cards got here today tho. so i guess it hasn’t been a total lose. i need to take a picture of one but they are great, they have stock photography palm tree one one side and a bunch of crackhore ranting on the left hand side..so great, can’t wait to leave these everywhere.

anyway. i’m want to talk about a few things before i pass out and start my shit life again in a few hours.

nothing wrong with looting. i don’t care if you are stealing a $2 can of soup or a $2 grand flat screen. grab that shit. people are killing left and right. sure, you won’t have electricity, but when you get to memphis, you can sell that flatscreen for cash and start a new life for your family.

so if you any of you have anything you want to unload, uhh don’t msg me.

everybody’s going to the party, have a real good time.

i think we need to get some screen writers down to new orleans, right now. we have snipers shooting at hospitals, people robbing the hospital for drugs and people stealing beer.

i would buy a 10 volume dvd set of people robbing each other in waist deep water.

the best is coming tho, seriously, don’t start watching something else yet. just wait till they are so out of food that they start eating each other. thats when this will really get cool.

another thing im sick of is people talking down about new orleans folks. like yeah, if philly or memphis or whatever other gangster city got flooded and looting started it’d be a lot worse then new orleans. memphis is about due fo r a huge earthquake. this place is going to turn into a tarantino flick as soon as the power is out for 48 hours, trust me, i know.

i mean we are robbing hurricane refugees. dont’ fuck with us.

im still waiting to run into a half a dozen strippers from new orleans who can’t find a hotel to stay at and would do “anything” for a place to stay. like, come on in, have you ever heard of the internet?

anyway.

this is goodbye for a while. crackhore is going to be reborn, and this time for real. it’s so funny how i can type it out like it’s dramatic but in reality only like half a dozen people hit this stupid site.

you 6 people are very important.

no seriously tho, i have some ideas for this site. i’m going to take it down for a few days, install 2 new things and relaunch. you have a choice, you can either say “fuck toad and his latest attempt to make this site worth visiting” or think “toad has gotten me through worse situations then this, i’ll go without his stupid drunk updates for a few days while he moves the site to a new server and installs a bunch of sexy new shit”.

i have to admit people, ive lost my way. ive been trying to make money the legit way, doing business design and business hosting. truth be told, thats the not what i want to do with my life. i want to puke my brand on every last thing in memphis. when someone finally shoots me, there will be a story behind it.

probably not cnn.com tho

if everyone i know down south of me isn’t dead, online and needs a place to crash.

i got 2 couches and wireless for anyone who wants it.

aim: scoutmastertoad
email: jesus@crackhore.com

msg or email and you have a place to crash if you can remind me how i know you.

swede and i were talking about jesus has been kinda slacking lately. we were really expecting him to do some crazy leet miracles in iraq but i keep seeing christians die. we are getting pwned by allah, lets see some laser guided leetness to take out the “terror” and maybe not destroy our oil port.

i mean new orleans deserved it. but what the fuck, not now.

we pray a lot. americans love their religion. we are praying to every aspect of you. why did you decide to destroy new orleans? you know they will just rebuild it! they do everytime. you did pretty well this time, you scored big. problem is they will pump out that evil city and 5 years from now, you’ll look down, and have to start flapping butterfly wings to try again.

just when you thought this had spiraled out.

i want to say something about looting.

some of you might be confused about looting. i’m going to explain it to you, just please follow these 3 easy steps:

1) will the small business/corporate empire get paid if i steal this?

2) will i get shot in the head if i pick this up?

3) fuck it, everything is screwed, im taking these ipods and you can’t stop me, we’re crazy!

STEAL STEAL STEAL STEAL STEAL

fucking take it. they can’t stop you. grab shit that is sealed. it will last. don’t waste your time on shit that won’t work.

—–

lets just cut it here, we got 50% “lets help new orleans” and 50% “steal steal steal”.

anyway, think about this way. dying in a hurricane/tornado/etc is better then dying of cancer in a bed.

i was wondering on the drive home today if i should even wonder about myself. there is no way i am either good or evil, i am both.

my mom called me last week and said there was smoke coming out of the computer, giving off a putrid burning smell.

i stop by bestbuy and pick up a new power supply and pick one up, head to their house. damn, i bought the wrong size, for some reason the little power supply wont plug into the motherboard, too big. thanks.

back to best buy. i return the power supply and say im going to grab another one. i walk to the power supply aisle and start opening the boxes, tearing off the shrink wrapping, looking at the end of the plugs to see if it’s the right size. halfway through the 3rd box a bestbuy employee asks me if he can help me with anything. i close the box, finally finding the right power supply, say naw im good and walk to the checkout.

in retrospect it wasn’t really that evil. i mean, im a little proud of myself. when i returned the power supply i couldn’t use, i actually returned it instead of putting the burnt one in the box and returning that instead.