Author: Scoutmastertoad

sup

welp

i have 8 weeks.

if you are reading this and can get me a job, please call or email me.

because im fucked.

i don’t care anymore tho.

as long as im not living under the tyranny of homosexuals, then i have definetely won.

this is where we seperate the men from the webdesigners here. are you going to rise up and get the fuck out or are you going to tred water and try to hammer out a existance in this shit hole.

i have a bad feeling that i am not good enough. that i’ll be reading this update on a crumpled up piece of paper, driving along some desolate highway, in search for web work like mad max.

apathy needs to be embraced at moments like this. the less i care about my well being, the less im likely to fuck it up.

just look at the calendar. not much time left. better fix life soon. running out of time. are you going to find a way out? is memphis your final destination? are you really going to die here?

well you have 2 months to figure something out.

do i think this is going to turn out okay? no. not at all.

never before has there been so little plan.

i’m going to die on the streets.

homeless, websiteless and dead.

the only hope is that i’ll be left alive by life and continue to update this damn site with my stupid depressing rantings.

when it really comes down to it, nothing is ever really okay. we all die. even the pope. we just don’t all have the doctors and medicine the pope has. but we’re not all good christians.

no let me leave it on a better note then my normal anti jesusness.

no matter how bad your life is, you’re probably better off then me.

i was so proud of myself last night, i didn’t have a single drink. I ate 3 sleeping pills and went to bed. I barely slept more then a hour or two, just laying awake, twitching and scratching.

i wake up and head to my 10:30 meeting. I call ahead, just to make sure im not getting dressed, shaving, etc for absolutely nothing, and she’s like “Yeah sure! Come by, mix yourself a drink”. I hangup the phone, thinking “oh she’s just mocking me cuz im a alcoholic” and get dressed.

I get to her office and they have one of the big mega bottles of jack daniels, like halfway empty. They weren’t kidding. They ask me if i want a drink. I pretend like they are twisting my arm. Whiskey and water, coming right up.

I make 2 phone calls after the good meeting, realize that there are no more meetings left, stop by my parent’s house and steal a beer, and drive home.

Now it’s noon, i have a buzz. What to do next.

fuck yeah.

leave memphis at 10pm with beer in hand.

everyone tells us to be careful. i lift my beer in approval and on to i-40 we go.

we drove through hell, just rain, rain, rain and not happiness. i was feeling pretty confident of my driving, i hadn’t drank that much, and i was only on my 2nd beer by the time we hit Jackson. Basically when you drive at night, in the rain, and drunk…you need to remember 1-2 things.

1) Colors

Follow 2 red dots:

Those are a truck. Just stick behind them, turn when they turn.

The White Lines:

These are your “sober lines”. When you cross one of these, you lose a point of soberness.

2) Music

Lound and angry. Mix rap and any NIN kind of music. It owned driving thru hell last night blaring Symbols.

Jeff tries to hide his fear.

We make it, crash at a hotel. The alarm goes off at 8am, i wake up, rub my eyes, walk to fridge, grab a beer. Jeff says “i think i understand, you drink alcohol when i eat food, right?”.

I sit, in a McDonalds outside of Nashville, watching a guy read a bible while jeff eats his mc griddle.

One beer later, im on my way back to memphis. I’m really pissed that memphis sucks, i feel like i wasted jeff’s vacation. Oh well, i tried.

Maybe this will be motivation to make my life more entertaining.

When your source for a certain thing dries up, go to places where you won’t normally see your friends. since you are no longer “fishing in the same pool” of consuption, your chances to score increase.

god, didn’t sleep hardly any, got to nashville too early. wandered around the airport. absolutely nothing intresting to write about.

car ran great, win win win.

andrew = leet

so tired tho, coffee is so evil. just drink, and blink, drink, and blink, turn up music, roll down window, gotta stay awake.

i think im going to get a cb radio for my car. i want to communicate with truckers about police.

checking ebay

andrew, who i want to say is the god of all that is steel, just installed my mp3 player and speakers.

tornado sirens BLARING, like “wait, what did you say” blaring, he(i watched, tried) installed speakers.

of course, my mp3 player from my civic from…what a year ago, doesn’t want to be happy.

he ties it to a different fuse and disco.

ANDREW

IS

THE

FUCKING

MAN.

GET IN HIS WAY NOW.

Today was a day of lost hopes, regained and then lost and regained.

I woke up in the rain and cold, headed to my meeting at 10am. I get there, shaking, hungover and i fed off a homeless guy in the parking lot but his life blood wasn’t even enough. I set up my tablet and wait.

Excellent meeting. Win.

I roll to my homies on Lamara to pick up some speakers. I score for $60 something for Alpines. I mix fix my reality.

I get to Andrew’s, order them chinese food and he realizes we’re missing a key blue little connecty thing.

He leaves me with his girlfriend to go buy them, then the hail comes. Great, Andrew is dead, i gotta pick up jeff without speakers/stereo in Nashville, God reaches down and pushes you down, type of situation.

The clear skies.

The sirens start.

We’re outside, im watching him install my speakers, but i can’t ask any questions since neither of us can hear each other over the crazy air raid siren. After wiring my shit all kinds of McGiver ways, i have a stereo again.

Now i just need to go to bed in the next 20 minutes, drive to nashville and pick up jeff. I have the worst feeling im the weakest link in this whole thing.

Thank you andrew.

I had you toad.

Thank you, good night.

Hopefully this tuesday update will be followed with “got to nashville, got jeff, drove back, went to karoake, puked, win” update. Or else, um….

Databit: well you are only 25
scoutMASTERtoad: yeah
Databit: you have alot of time
scoutMASTERtoad: sorta
scoutMASTERtoad: i look at it is “i can’t believe i made it to 25”
scoutMASTERtoad: i actually have one voice that thinks that i am dead
scoutMASTERtoad: and that i died in the last car wreck
scoutMASTERtoad: and this has all just been hell
scoutMASTERtoad: it’s not that loud tho
scoutMASTERtoad: i can’t be dead
scoutMASTERtoad: i feel too shitty
Databit: if this is hell then I get to be satan
scoutMASTERtoad: wow imma update wiht that, hold on
scoutMASTERtoad: okay you are satan

oh my fucking god.

i just woke up at 2pm, boots still on, camo pants, red and white hawaiian shirt, all of the stuff that goes in my pockets neatly stacked next to my bed.

last night there was a Stream/BBS reunion party. LOTS of old friends. I show up, pockets full of koozies and stickers and get hammered. It owned, so many people i havn’t seen in like 6 years.

it was nice to see all of you and thank you for looking at what’s left of my site.

after i leave sidestreet, i apparently drove to andrew and jana’s and drank whiskey at their house until roughly 5am.

i need more jesus in my life.

started out at neils, little bit of food. i was hungover from the night before, rushed to a meeting, went okay, picked up valerie.

we started cleaning apartment since we are being “inspected” sunday. i love having neighbers. neighbers = win

we head to the P & H. Having a great st patricks day, drinking pitcher beer, getting beat down by andrew in pool. Valerie freaks out since she thinks the lady at the bar stole her credit card. She hadn’t.

After she breaks a mirror and does other things that im not going to even mention on my site for her sake.

I sleep on the couch.

Wes and i head downtown Friday morning.

We meet the wrestler Big Show. I’m not really big into wrestling but famous people are always cool and this dude has been in some movies so after a night of not sleeping on the couch, i was down. We were meeting him at Hard Rock so figured i can get a bloody mary and maybe feel okay again.

It was great tho, this huge wrestler, i mean a huge orc of a man, is drawing the winner of the contest Wes won. See he Wes called in a day ago and won tickets to the wrestling thing in Memphis. He was also entered into a raffle for ring side tickets of the show in memphis and tickets to wrestlemania, which i think is the super bowl of wrestling.

*sips beer*

Anyway, Big Show is so big he can’t even fit his hand into the pitcher that has all the names in it, but one slip of paper floats out. It falls on the floor and he goes “no that’s the one, my hand can’t fit in the pitcher”. I yell out “WOOO WES!!!”, Big Show bends over, picks up the piece of paper, a astonished face appears and is like “umm yeah, Wes, are you here?”. People literally thought it was rigged, it was that ironic.

Wes wins the ring side tickets, some other dork wins the Wrestlemania tickets and we go home. The pictures of us meeting him will be up eventually but they are on a disposable camera that i bought on the way there. I need something called a “scanner”, i dunno, stupid computers.